7 comments on “I Love Him But Can’t Stand Him

  1. Leave him!!! Don’t make the mistake that I did and hang in there for 30 years because he does one nice thing for you. They don’t change! My husband is sweet and nice to me when he wants something. When I don’t agree with him the asshole that he really is comes out. He is self centered and when he wants something he will stop at nothing to get it. This includes lying, using people, making promises he never keeps, even breaking the law! I consulted 2 counselors 2 years ago and they both told me leave and here I still am. I don’t have energy at my age to fight him in an ugly divorce because he’s that much of a prick that he would not be fair. It’s easier to live in the denial that I do until I can figure a way out. I do have children with him although they are all on their own. You have no ties. GET OUT!! There are men out there that are not like this. You deserve to be happy, don’t deny yourself that. My husband is a big asshole but I’m also one for staying with him!

    VA:F [1.9.3_1094]
    Rating: 7.8/10 (8 votes cast)
  2. Wow, sounds like you have a real gem. A true friend (a husband should be a friend) would have stuck by you during your illness. Even though he may have been happy for your miscarriage, if he loved you he would’ve been sad with you for your heartache and pain. My advice is to dump him. The amount of time you’ve spent with him is minimal. I’ve seen the best relationships fall apart after 20 years and by then both parties are too old to date.

    Get out while you’re still young! He will never come around to loving you since he has shown he doesn’t care now.

    VA:F [1.9.3_1094]
    Rating: 8.4/10 (5 votes cast)
  3. Get your finances and legal papers in order regarding the child and set up plans for relatives to help you temporarily. File a restraining order before you talk to him and have a police officer there while you move out your stuff if he’s home. He sounds like a grade A jerk and you will never be happy while you are with someone so selfish. If you want a chance at a happy life, consider what I’ve said. Best of luck to you.

    T

    VA:F [1.9.3_1094]
    Rating: 10.0/10 (3 votes cast)
  4. … you write that on Christmas day and you’re wondering what to do!? H E L L O.. leave!

    On the other hand, sounds like you’re a little drama queen ‘had to crawl to the phone and beg for him to come home’ … sounds a little over exaggerated… and something my husband’s ex would say. Since you also have children from a previous relationship, let me guess, he wanted a divorce. I’m not sorry for being callouse … get a back bone! If he treated you like this 2 years ago, why the hell did you marry him!?

    You only have yourself to blame… don’t be a perpetual victim, it’s not becoming on you…. or anyone.

    VA:F [1.9.3_1094]
    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
  5. I feel for you. You have gone through an incredibly painful experience, physically and emotionally…and, you were left to deal with it alone even though you are married. And, you would have never done that to him.

    I have felt the same loneliness and emotional pain. I had health issues which were disregarded for many years by my husband. He eventually grew to understand, thankfully; however, he is still an ass.

    I have often convinced myself to stay because of the little things. And, while the little things do matter (oh, he made me a cup of tea), little things like kindness and consideration to your spouse and true expression of love are even more important.

    I have been with my ass of a husband for 19 years. I have stayed because of finances and knowing that I could keep my kids safer from his emotional absences and instability by staying until they are grown.

    My daughter is 16 and my son is 18. I am on my very last straw and he knows it. I, literally, have warned him every anniversary that if our marriage doesn’t grow that I will be figuring out a way to divorce him once the kids are grown.

    We do have some good moments in a day but it is not enough when he is emotionally lacking and able to provide what is necessary for growth in a marriage. Although there is love, it has felt loveless much of the time.

    If you are able to find a way to move on, you may prevent years of emotional pain. You’ll just have to do a lot of soul searching. I wish you the best.

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    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
  6. My husband is an ass! all the red flags were there but I ignored them we are going on five years of me being his care taker he is like a big child! He is selfish it’s all about him and he treats women like we are all maids! you know a red flag when you’ve known a man for 7 years but the only people that buy his clothes are his mom his older sister and now me his wife! he is cold and not affectionate at all! everything is my fault blah blah blah we live in a tiny house that only has one bedroom but we have two kids so does that make sense but its all we can afford here! He doesn’t want to live anyplace else he is a recovering alcoholic who has anxiety he is dry but doesn’t go to therapy or anything to work on his issues and he thinks its 1942 where I do all the cooking and cleaning the only problem is I work!!!! I pay 50% of the bills!!! Yep half the rent the electric etc etc and I have to do 100% of the work until now fuck this! I’m leaving in July I have given my notice at work and I am moving to a place where the cost of living is 8 times lower than the national average rather than trying to live here where the cost of living is 25 times higher!!!! I wasn’t raised to be somebody’s bitch and I am done! I know what I want out of life and I will have it I don’t want my daughter to ever be treated like I’ve been treated in this joke of a marriage!

    VA:F [1.9.3_1094]
    Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)
  7. I am a 28 yr old with 5 children 1 on the way and a husband of 8 years. Since my husband lost his job weve been eachothers face for 3 years ive been the homemaker which I chose to do. Unfortunetly I feel like he does nothing around the house n when he does he wants to be praised like he won a medal wheres my appreciation. He wants sex all the time n I’m not interested I’m exhausted. I’m not allowed friends. I can’t go anywhere without a timeline. He hunts fish n go out for a beer here and there n I have never been out without him. I don’t have the strength to fight in court cause it would be a gruelling fight n his family is no better. One min I love him the next I hate him. I don’t get the attention I desearve. Ive been to 4 different counselors all say leave because hell never change what’s good for the goose is good for the gander in my case no but I’m venting because I’m tired. The man I don’t understand doesnt treat me like I matter only like a possesion n it sucks. But I’m a mother of 6 young children who wants a washed up women anyways n I’m afraid to attempt life without the man who used to think I was special.

    VA:F [1.9.3_1094]
    Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

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